


A Bag of Silence

by arlbee



Category: A Bag of Hammers (2011)
Genre: Family Fluff, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-15
Updated: 2016-01-15
Packaged: 2018-05-14 04:31:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5729605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arlbee/pseuds/arlbee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The A Bag of Hammers fanfic nobody asked for. Except me...My soul asked for it.</p><p> </p><p>Moments of Kelsey.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Bag of Silence

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: there is mention of underage/rape/non-con/ but in the form of nasty rumor. It doesn't actually happen

 

**Kelsey age 13**

Today was his birthday. Well, not really. His birthday was four months ago but it went forgotten and unnoticed by the people who ran the group home he was staying in. Kelsey hadn’t really intended to bring it up or make a big deal out of it but it just slipped out in a completely unrelated conversation over a banana and a condom.

And Kelsey had really only been messing with them when they tried and failed hilariously to explain to him what a condom was for. He was thirteen for Christ’s sake not four. After an embarrassing ten-minute display of a parenting attempt, Ben and Alan gave up.

“Ben, man, maybe we should wait until he’s like, fifteen or something.”

“Dude, I learned what a condom was when I was nine.”

“Yeah, because your dad had a messed up sense of humor.”

“I’m old enough.” Kelsey chimed in.

“See, he’s old enough.”

“Every twelve year old thinks he’s old enough.”

“I’m thirteen.”

The statement had an immediate effect. Ben and Alan froze and slowly looked at him. Kelsey had an irrational fear that he had said something wrong. They were staring at him so intensely; he shrunk back into his seat.

“You’re thirteen?”

“Since when?”

“October.” He said quietly.

Kelsey watched the realization hit them. Moments like this happened between them sometimes. A moment of silence for those dark eleven months they were apart. Those eleven months had left scars that he didn’t even know were there until he came back home. Forgetting to mention he was a whole year older didn’t seem to matter in the grand scheme of Ben and Alan working really hard to get him back. He tried really hard to make sure they didn’t regret doing it.

So there they were a week later eating late at the Wiggles Dinner after a full day at Splash Mountain. Him, Ben, Alan, Mel, Frank the Waffle man, even Mr. Wyatt. Kelsey was happy and vaguely wondered if it was normal for a thirteen year old to only have adult friends.

“No, friends isn’t the right word.” He thought as he looked around them. Mel was crying from laughing so hard at something Mr. Wyatt had said and Alan flicked a syrupy waffle bit at Ben causing the whole table to erupt in a food fight. Soon he was laughing until he was crying too.

 

 

**Kelsey age 15**

He stared out at the building from the car window.

“I’m not going to lie to you,” Ben said from the driver’s seat, hands gripped the steering wheel so hard, Kelsey could hear the leather protest, “high school is going to suck.”

Kelsey gave him a flat look, “Thanks, dad.”

He had meant to say it as a joke, but the moment it came out of his mouth, he knew he wasn’t joking. It was too right, too true. The two men up front caught it and silence fell in the car. It wasn’t the mourning silence that happened fewer and fewer these days. It was the echoing kind. The silence that reverberated around a moment that would change things forever.

It was broken when Alan said, “Wait, if he’s dad then who am I?”

Kelsey suddenly wanted to be anywhere else but this car. “Okay I gotta go. I love you bubye!” He fell out of the car, slammed the door shut and ran toward the entrance.

Kelsey was an honest kid. When he said I love you, he meant it and wasn’t ashamed. If it was true, he said it. But calling Ben and Alan his fathers would…and wouldn’t be true? He didn’t know. He never had a father and suddenly he had two men taking care of him and raising him.

They weren’t together. Kelsey had asked once and both of them and thrown a giant red X on that line of thinking (but then suddenly said that it was okay to be that way, they just weren’t).

So as it stood, Kelsey had two unrelated men who treated each other like brothers, co-parenting him. So there was that.

When Kelsey got home, Alan ambushed him. Well, not really. He was standing by the door looking hopeful and lost when Kelsey walked in.

“Hey, dad.” Casually, the fifteen year old shrugged off his backpack and walked to the kitchen and that felt right too.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Alan grin like a fool and fist pump the air. Kelsey turned his head so his man-child of a father couldn’t see the blush coming up in his cheeks.

 

 

**Kelsey age 15 1/2**

In seventh grade, Kelsey introduced his first friend to his dads. A kid named Jacob Henley. Things got weird between them after that and they stopped talking.

Explaining his family situation was something Kelsey was proud of but also something that generated a lot of anxiety. As much as both his dads try to instill in him that he’s not going to please everyone and that appeasing assholes wasn’t worth it, for the better part of his life, Kelsey was trying to appease people so he wouldn’t get hurt.

So explaining to his friends when they came over to hang out or even more nerve racking, his friends parents when they wanted to meet his, was always something he silently dreaded. Because he wanted them to like him but most of all, he wanted them to like his dads.

His dads were awesome.

They gave up a life of crime for him.

They were his heroes.

Kelsey saw Jacob again in high school and this prompted a semester of name calling and bullying that Kelsey absolutely did not tolerate. Say what you wanted about him, but talk shit about his dads…

It ended with both of his dads coming down to talk to the dean about his violent behavior.

“Fighting is not tolerated at this school.”

“We understand.” Ben said. Alan was looking at Kelsey and Kelsey was looking at his blistered knuckles.

“Talk to me kid.”

Kelsey chewed the inside of his cheek. He didn’t think he deserved any of this and he was pissed the dean was making it look like he started the damn fights.

“Kelsey is a bright kid and because of his academic excellence, I’m giving him a warning.” The dean said.

“Thank you.” Ben said.

They were in the car when Kelsey finally said, “He called you guys faggots.”

“So?” they said.

It was a poor explanation, Kelsey realized, about what actually happened. But the problem wasn’t the words Jacob Henley had used. It was how he used them and what he meant by them. They way he said sounded like…like his dads weren’t real. And because they weren’t real, they didn’t really love him. Jacob Henley also said a lot of stuff that Kelsey didn’t want to mention because the thought it made him sick.

Alan sighed, “That’s not a good enough excuse to hit someone, Kels.”

“Good enough for me.” He mumbled.

“No.” Ben said firmly, “It’s not. You are going to write that apology and then you are going to stop fighting.”

“Wow, Ben. That sounded really fatherly.” Alan congratulated.

“Thanks.”

Kelsey snarled, “He’s telling everyone that you only keep me around in order to keep your relationship interesting.”

The car stopped.

That’s how they ended up at the Henley’s house in the nicest clothes they owned. Alan even wore a bowtie, which Kelsey didn’t think would help the situation. It was obvious right off the bat what the Henley’s thought about their unconventional familial unit.

Ben, not one to sugar coat anything said, “Your son is telling everyone at school that we engage in sexual intercourse with Kelsey to keep our “relationship” interesting.”

The Henley’s flinched. Even they thought that was a gross and exaggerated thing to insinuate. They seemed at a loss as to how to respond. There was a moment of silence between them. It was the kind of silence that was the first cousin of the elephant in the room. The kind of silence that came before some immediate action or understanding but everyone was too stubborn to move.

So Kelsey decided push them. He went into detail about all the things their son had said to him. He took great pleasure watching their faces turn green.

“Quiet frankly, I’m surprise someone at that age knows anything about that.” Ben chimed in.

“One might wonder.” Alan agreed.

“We’ll talk to him.” They said finally.

“I don’t want to have to explain my family.” Kelsey said. Everyone had stopped to look at him. His dads weren’t gay, but somehow he didn’t feel like that should matter. He didn’t feel like saying: “I have two dads, oh don’t worry, they’re not gay” because that didn’t say anything. It sounded cheap…even though it was the truth. It wasn’t the point.

“They saved my life. That’s all that should matter.”

After that they went to the dinner and ate three pieces of pie each to erase and celebrate the terrible day they had.

 

 

**Kelsey age 17**

He was at the dinner with his friends. It was late and they were laughing the way that obnoxious teenagers laugh when it was summer and they were hopped up on too much soda and syrup.

He saw his dads walk in and immediately knew something was up. He caught their eyes and then a man walked in behind them. Kelsey didn’t know how, but he knew the man behind them was his biological father.

He looked back at his dads and shook his head. They ushered the man away and Kelsey sat for the rest of the night wondering if that was really what he wanted.

The next day the same man cornered him after school by his car.

“Kelsey, you’re Kelsey right?”

“And you’re…” Kelsey stopped because he didn’t know what to call this man.

“Greg.”

Kelsey observed Greg. He wondered if his mother hated him so much because he looked a lot like this man.

“Greg.” Kelsey nodded. “What can I do for you?”

“Well, I kind of wanted to talk to you.”

“About what?”

“Um.”

Kelsey waited. The silence he created was a vicious thing of his own creation. He used it whenever he wanted to make someone nervous or leave him alone. It was the loud kind of silence that spoke for him.

“Uh, about anything.” Greg laughed nervously. Kelsey looked Greg up and down. He was dressed in clean jeans and a t-shirt. His hairline was starting to recede and his eyes looked tired and wrinkled around the edges. Not the kind of wrinkles that meant he laughed a lot. The kind of wrinkles you get from rubbing your eyes too much.

“Why now?” Kelsey asked. He had been in the system for a little so he knew but some of the kids he stayed with had been in it longer and had had it worse. Kelsey knew Greg was looking for a check. But if Kelsey knew anything about those checks, it’s that they never helped anybody. They might as well be flower petals.

“When I heard about your mother, Lynette, I wasn’t financially capable of taking care of you.”

“You could have called.”

“Who was I supposed to call?”

Kelsey shrugged. He wasn’t impressed, Alan and Ben moved mountains to get him. Kelsey knew he was worth something now. He was worth a phone call, worth more than that, actually. He was worth more than seventeen years of absence and a sudden visit.

“Good talk, Greg.” He said and turned to leave.

“Wait, Kelsey!”

“I don’t know what it is you want,” that’s a lie, he did, “but I’m not in the mood to give it to you. I like where I am and I like living with my dads and I don’t care who you are because for seventeen years you didn’t care who I was.”

“I can still fight for you. For custody.” It sounded like a threat.

“I’ll be eighteen in less than two months.” Kelsey narrowed his eyes.

“Kelsey,” the two of them looked over to see Mr. Wyatt.

“Hey uncle.” Kelsey said confused as to why he was there but grateful for it.

“Don’t you have work? You’re going to be late.”

It was a lie, he worked at the Guitar Shoppe on weekends, but Kelsey knew an out when he saw one. “Yeah, I’m heading out now.”

“Who the hell are you?” Greg asked.

“I’m sorry, my name is Wyatt Henry. I’m Kelsey’s uncle.” He stuck out a hand, “You must be Greg.”

Kelsey slid into his car and peeled away from the parking spot, leaving to two men to talk. He didn’t know his heart was beating so fast until he was a block away from the school.

After that, Kelsey never saw or heard from Greg again.

 

 

**Kelsey age 18**

Kelsey didn’t know what to do with his life and what was frustrating about it was that his dads fully supported him not knowing what to do with his life. His friend Brian kept complaining about how his mom was not so subtly pushing him to study engineering just like her. And Kelsey had a feeling that if Ben or Alan tried to push him one way or another, he’d be able to at least figure out what he doesn’t want to do with his life. Like Brain. Brian doesn’t know what he wants to do, but he sure as hell knows engineering isn’t it.

“I don’t know what I want to major in.” He declared at the dinner one night. It was just him, Alan and Mel. She hadn’t waited at the dinner for two years since finishing school, getting married, and starting a job at a bank. Ben and Alan were pretty sure she was running that bank or will be in the next few months.

“So’kay, Kels.” Alan said. Kelsey grumbled something and Mel caught it. She elbowed her brother. He grunted at the assault, a moment later Alan spoke up, “I mean you don’t have to go to college.” Kelsey looked incredulously at his dad.

“I didn’t.” he defended.

Kelsey looked miserably down at his food. After a moment Mel put a hand on his. He looked up at her.

“Do you want to go to college, Kelsey?” Her voice was gentle and soft like it had been when they first met.

“Yes? No? I don’t know.”

He wanted it. I wanted it so bad, but he didn’t think it would make sense to go if he wasn’t going there to be anything. College was expensive. They did a whole project on it at school. He even took that stupid career finding quiz and either he was too well rounded or not interesting enough to warrant any kind of decisive career option.

“What about community? You could get your gen. eds. out of the way and find out if college is for you?” Mel, ever the voice of reason, suggested.

Five months later, they arrived on campus. It was slow going, as it was move in week. The street was packed with cars unloading and families hugging each other goodbye and people crying. Alan and Ben were uncharacteristically quiet. All the way here they were talking up college as if they had actually been. Kelsey was pretty sure the closest they got to college before this moment, was watching every clique college movie ever.

Then suddenly they were in front of his dorm. They got out and Kelsey watched as his two dork fathers tried not to cry.

There was a moment of silence between them. The deep breath kind that comes when you are about to do something very brave. Kelsey wasn’t sure who was being brave here, but he smiled at his dads and relished at that feeling.

His dads.

His.


End file.
